Monday, January 23, 2012

Why am I fat ?

The impression that question left on me, will last a lifetime. I sat this morning with a young woman who attempted to answer that question. I think its hilarious that so many people think that you become over weight simply because of food.  I often think that some of the most physically beautiful people are the ugliest of the bunch.

For many food  is isolation, it helps them to cope with a pain that others may not understand.  I am not saying that all over weight people have this issue but I am simply speaking about the ones that do. The idea that simply losing weight will solve your problems is absurd. If that is the case then why do so many people gain it back. 

When I look at this journey that I have been on, I realize that I have had to deal with some many "other" issues. In fact the losing weight has been the easiest part, it is dealing with why I ate the way I did that was the most difficult part. I have had to walk away from a few friends, associates and family members in order to be successful. When you change, you will find that many of your loved ones liked you just the way you were. They were comfortable with  the old you and changing will cause tension and make you choose.

I look back at who I used to be and I see that the best parts of me have stayed  with me.  However, the part of me that allowed myself to be repeatedly hurt, taken advantaged  of  and humiliated  I  left behind with those who enjoyed it. The strength that I have now at this moment, was not created simply by losing weight. It was created by dealing with my reality and my past. Part of being a  person walking around emotionally  wounded,is that you lack the ability to see your worth. So you allow others to take advantage of you and it becomes who you are.  I am not afraid to admit, that USED to be me, I put myself in situations in which I could not win. Over and over again, never realizing that I allowed my self to be there.

Each and everyone of you has something special to give to this world. If you have trouble looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing what it is, without ridiculing your self. Then you have more to do then just diet and exercise. That work, will be the most important work you will do on this journey.

Although the results are amazing, leaving people behind is painful. Getting off the couch is not just about  moving physically, but it  includes  mental and emotional  fitness.  The only question I have is, are you still on the couch?

No comments: