About Me



I have had an eating disorder brought on by PTSD for most of my life. I thought that being overweight was what fueled the dysfunction in my life. I even started this blog to further my weight loss ambitions. The reality is that I started focusing on food to avoid dealing with the trauma that I have experienced in my life.  As a child conceived through rape and fatherless survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I did everything I could to rid myself of the panic that existed in my body on daily basis.

After  dealing with the debilitating panic attacks for most of my life, I decided that I needed to change. It took me a long time to realize that my weight was not the source of my life struggles. The trauma that existed in my childhood and my inability to feel my emotions was the problem .  I felt if I just proved that I was a good person and I fit the best mold possible, It would go away. It was not logical but I needed to be perfect in order to be successful in life and to be loved. I had to change me in order to be loved  or  liked. That way I could  come out of hiding and be a real person to the world. Unblemished and a symbol or strength that others could look to.

The reality is that I needed to make some changes in the relationships in my life. I decided that I would no longer allow myself to be hurt by others. But most of  all I would no longer  punish myself for being who I was.  I took control of my future and decided that strength does not come from hiding from my emotions.  I had to cut ties with the people in my life who hurt me and live my life. I am still  learning how to forgive and grow from my past and I know I will never forget.    

This journey is a daily part of my life and I am committed to being fit mentally and emotionally  for  life. My goal is to be an example to other women and men like me and speak life into the issues I struggle with.  To Speak for Women, Wives, Sisters, Mothers etc. like me   who have been wounded  for a majority of their lives. People  who may feel like change is not possible for them because their past is still an open wound . I am here to show you it is possible, change is not easy and in fact it wont happen in a day. It will take time to reclaim the love for yourself and become comfortable being who you are. 

My goal in life is to speak love it to those that cant find it in themselves. If I am being honest that also means I am speaking love into myself daily. I have accepted that I was created for a reason and my passion and voice make me unique.  Each one of us have a purpose in the life, the main one is to learn to love yourself.