The Next Best Thing

Motivational Speaking Tour begins this Fall!

What are We Doing to Our Community?

I am going to speak on Bill Cosby, but I am also going to put this in perspective so those in defense of black men who abuse black women are answered as well. Yes the justice system and the prison industrial complex is set up so people of color may be disproportionately convicted.

It is important that we not use that excuse in these cases. These are rich & powerful men. Who have privilege, money and opportunity. They have been insulated from the everyday struggle in black America. In addition when we bring these issues in to the debate about sexual assault it helps to perpetuate the silence surrounding this issue in the black community . The silence that is predicated by this idea that we still must protect black men from being lynched. So black women must come to the rescue of black men regardless of the abuse they suffered.

Black women have not just been devalued because of a racially unjust system. She has also been devalued because since slavery she has been tasked with the job of protecting black men. Resulting in black women being silenced and abused. In addition to being called the instigator of her own abuse.

The defense of Bill Cosby, R. Kelly and Nas etc, is part of a generational psychological conditioning that we as descents of slavery have failed to unlock the shackles that chain us to this ideology. We need to look deeper and stop blaming the Bill Cosby and R.Kelly issues on an unjust justice system. It needs to be seen for what it is: predators going to jail and survivors getting justice. Why should it matter if these other men who happen to be white are not punished. Their cases are separate and all uniquely different. Wrong is wrong and black men must be held accountable for their crimes against women .

Especially black men of power who use it to sexually exploit women. Let us not forget a few prominent black women were victims of Bill Cosby and most of them were not part of the 24 hr news cycle. They were the background noise to the suffering of white women.  When Malcolm X said: The most disrespected woman in America, is the black woman. The most un-protected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America, is the black woman. He called on black men to protect her! Yet decades later she is still victimized and vilified when ever she decides to speak out against the abuse she suffers at the hands of black men.  Kelis who has been silent for almost 9 years is now a under attack.

This is because a man who people consider to be good has be accused of abusing her. Doing to her what a similar woman, Carmen Byran wrote in her book. So now two black women want to just slander this black man?  That logic is flawed and is indeed fallacious. Keeping in mind neither women wants him to go to jail. They just decided to break their silence on the issue.
The idea of these men being good and doing good for the community is supposed to be proof they did not abuse these women. That thought process is wrong because what I can attest to and many other survivors can attest to is these "good" men wear their good deeds as beards.
The prey upon women and children and their defense is: "look at what I do in the community. My philanthropy and all the good I have participated in. I am a nice person". Yet they behind closed doors they are raping, sexually assaulting and abusing both children and women.
We need to realize you only know what you see. Which is from a distance to his celebrity and you have no idea what he has done or who he really is. Yet many people have an unwavering defense of men in this position and the women are called gold diggers, liars and there is now a conspiracy to steal a legacy. This does not just happen with celebrities, you see this in our communities when men are accused of abuse.
When will there be just as much of this vehement defense and protection of black women or will you allow us to remain abused, over sexualized and victimized as long as you can keep your hero. Not to mention there some women bashing these other women for the same reason men are bashing them. In addition in our communities there are women who know these men are guilty but cover for them no matter what the cost. This cycle of silence and abuse will remain until we can hold predators accountable for their crimes. Even if they happen to be black,male, nice and successful. Until then we will continue keep producing black girls who are prey and are taught to be silent in the face of abuse.

Self love

The best gift you can give your self is love.  Not the love of a man or a woman but the love of yourself. I challenge you to take the time to name 1 thing each day you love about your self until you can fill a book. No rules here, be silly and have fun with it. It is the first step on a long journey to self love.

My book is available on amazon, and if you click the link below. It will take you directly to it. I have created a print and ebook version. This book has been a journey for me, one of self discovery. Pick up your copy today!!!

Silence-No-More-Kenisha-Burke

Where Do I Stand?????

        I had an interesting conversation with a young woman last week. She asked me where should she stand in the fight for injustice. Find myself fielding questions like this all the time, young people just want to know what is  the right thing to do.  Some of them have no clue what they should or should not do.  As mentors, educators and leaders we may think we know what they should do.

       The reality is and what I told her was,  that I can't tell you where to stand. I can provide you with  knowledge and lead you to sources that can educate you, but I can't tell you what to do. You have to sit and think, look inside your self and find your direction.  What is right for me, may not be what is right for you.

      Before you decide to tell someone how to join this battle remember  we are not all the same  and what might wok for you, wont work for someone else. Our goal above all it to make sure our children learn how to think critically. The key word is THINK!!!!

 

Motivational Minute

Removing Silence Brings Happiness

It has been such a long time since I decided to post because I have been dedication my time to the Silence No More Project and  my Dissertation.  I want to  come to you today and express joy because I feel like I am on top of a mountain, I went to church today and felt joy instead of pain.  That for me was such a big deal because I used to go to church and purge pain. Today I rejoiced and that was the best feeling I  have ever had in my life.  I may have lost some things or people but the gains are beautiful. I felt my feelings and removed the silence from my life. Now I am experiencing  a freedom that I never have felt before.

I say to you all go forth, push through the process and there is joy the end of the process.

Loving myself as I am!