When I started this journey five years ago, I did it in flight mode. I was obese and had been for most of my life. The cardiologist told me that being fat was my only problem and I was afraid for my life.
So I went all in, joined Weight Watchers and started working out, running and completed every workout DVD Beach Body had to offer.
Well about 90 days ago, I jumped back On Weight Watchers because I had gained a few pounds back and I wanted to get back on track, I also started pulling out my DVD's again. I started this with the best intentions because this is how I lost the weight and this is how I should keep it off. However during the process, I found that I hated that shit. Now I am going to be real here, so I hope I don't offended anyone but know this is just how I feel.
For five years there have been so many cants in my life when it comes to fitness or dieting. Every time I opened the app to track my points, I found my self being unmotivated more I tracked the less I wanted to do. When the trial was over that paid for, I had indeed lost the vanity pounds that I wanted to get rid of for summer. So I canceled my subscription and found some free app to use but something happened during that time. I found myself looking in the mirror asking myself why? Why am I spending so much time doing this.
Here are the fact about my life, I work out 5 to 6 days a week, it includes running, weights and various machines at the gym. I know what to put in my mouth and moderation is the key. This is what I do and I do it because I have found a love for fitness. What I don't have a love for is the constant expectations and requirements that seem to go along with it.
Yesterday I read a bog by Jennifer Galardi and she said something's that I have been thinking for months. I am turning 36 in July and there is some stuff that I am not going to do anymore.
So here is my list of things that I am not going to do any more.
1. Track or write down everything I eat- I am tired of bite and write it. Looking at the calorie count or points of everything that I eat. At this point I know what I am putting in my mouth and I don't need to keep track of it anymore. I am no longer paying for services so that I can control what I put in my mouth. Now don't get me wrong those programs worked for me in the beginning but I have just outgrown them and I have to let that go to be happy.
2. Running- the fact is I love running at my pace. I am no longer competing for speed or to decrease my time. I run between a 11:30 and 12 minute mile comfortably. I feel good at that pace and I can get down to a 9 minute mile no problem but I don't enjoy it. I don't want to hate running and my knee feels like crap after I force my self to run at uncomfortable paces. So Nike will no longer be shouting my pace in my ear as I run. What ever my pace my body moves at when I hit the pavement, is jut that. I am no longer running on the treadmill, I hate it and I count the minutes until it is done. I am at the point of I cant run outdoors or on an indoor track then I wont run. I refuse to run in races that don't provide medals because I am competitive. Dognabit if I train and run a race, I want a medal. Especially if I am paying fifty to a hundred dollars for a race! I will no long run in run/walk theme races. I am not saying that I wont do them but I am not running through walkers and bowing people to get through the finish line anymore. It is just a waste of time and not enjoyable. I would rather walk it with friends and family and have fun doing it, instead of fighting a crowd. There is a good chance I will never run a full marathon, that is just it. I think 26 miles is too long for me and I wont do it!
3. I am only competing with myself. When I started this I was a subscriber to all the fitness magazines. Looking at those ladies thinking that is where I wanted to be. The reality is that I am not them and probably never will be but I will keep competing with myself. Trying to be the best me instead of some photo shopped image in a magazine. I am my own competition and I am happier that way. I don't want to do anymore 90 day challenges or squat this month and push up that month. No more of that mess, it sucks too. Now my plank, I will never give up my plank to me it is the only daily challenge that I love to hate.
4. I don't care about super foods or whatever supplement is suppose to be the rage. The only thing I love is my protein power and vitamins. Everything else can take a hike off a big cliff. I refuse to pay $190.00 for a meal supplement. In fact I was never silly enough to pay full price for them. I always got samples or some closeout sale. I keep getting offers for me to join a group buy a DVD and the next great meal replacement shakes. So let me say it now I don't want them, I think most of them are gross anyway. My protein powder is affordable and I am happy with it. I personally am a grouch if all I do is drink shakes my body does not like it and I crash.
I am unapologetically me in every other facet of my life and now I am heading into my own direction. This is my journey and I can do it they way I want to!
Blessings K
